Exactly two weeks ago today I walked down the aisle in a white dress, with flowers in my hair, to marry Wilson.
As I was getting reading that morning I remembered the list of things that every bride is supposedly meant to wear on her wedding day; something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.
I didn’t manage to tick all of those boxes. I had a new dress and shoes and borrowed pearl drop earrings from my mum. As for old and blue, I didn’t think I had anything.
It wasn’t until after the wedding that those words, old, new, borrowed and blue, rolled around in my mind some more.
I’m sure this traditional good luck rhyme came about with it’s own meanings and symbolism. But I’ve come to the conclusion that we create our own meanings with the something old, new, borrowed and blue symbolism we carry within us; whether we’ve been brides or not.
I realise I carry old memories. Some good, some bad, some ugly, that have shaped who I am and how I respond to things today. Carrying them so close to my heart I need to be careful not to dwell on the what ifs and should haves, to celebrate the good times and learn from the ugly times.
I realise I make choices for new every moment every day, when I choose to love or to neglect, to acknowledge or to avoid, to repair or to destroy. The opportunity for a new future is in every choice I make.
I realise I’m created by so many borrowed words spoken over me. I borrow these words and try them on for size. I throw away the ones that don’t fit, labels from when I was a different me, but I keep the ones that bring life, that set me free. And when the good ones have sunk in, I lend them to another to borrow from me.
I realise I cry blue tears when my heart is heavy and heaving and overwhelmed. Sometimes good, like crying through my wedding vows, other times bad, when I feel hurt and upset. Tears signify I’m feeling and caring and processing something important going on.
So I wonder, what are the things, old, new, borrowed and blue within you?